Jane Arie Baldwin

Personal Tools and Techniques for Unwinding

Month: January, 2016

How to Know if Something is Valuable for You

It’s 2016!

The beginning of the year is about making resolutions and setting intentions that will add value to the quality of our lives.


Donald Judd Untitled Works in Concrete

This year ask yourself these three questions. They are guidelines to making the best possible choice:

  1. Does it calm my emotions and nervous system?
  2. Does it vitalize my body?
  3. Does it give me mental clarity?

The answer to these questions will not be an emphatic “yes” all the time, nor should they. There is no room here for judgement or a preconceived idea of what is “right” or “wrong” for you. It’s all practice. It’s all experience. Using these questions as guidelines can help you balance your mental, physical and emotional systems — enhancing the value and quality of your life.


The New Conventional Femininity

Happy New Year!

More passion, trust and community of women in 2016. Time to celebrate!


First published July 29, 2010

“When she stopped conforming to the conventional picture of femininity she finally began to enjoy being a woman.” — Betty Friedan

I wanted no part in it.  My whole life I wanted nothing to do with the trappings of being conventional — I shunned conformism, creature comforts, and practicality for a gypsy life of travel and solitude well into my twenties.  Then I found true love with Jimmy and through the twin sisters of fate and destiny we landed a beautiful baby girl into our laps.  I still would not give in to the traditional convention of family life.  I would not allow myself to get comfortable with the idea that being a wife and mother could in and of themselves bring me joy.  So what happened?  Why now? Why do I feel content and full in these rolls to the point of wanting to do them really well, to the point of being invested in them 100%?  The answer lies in how my view of myself has changed over the past decade.

I have noticed lately a deep rumbling in my being to experience – well the only way I can describe it is — a deeper connection to the fabric of my family, and my home.  That is, basking in the beingness of my role as wife and mother. I spent years running away from  what I thought “wife” and “mother” meant, the conventional rolls I thought they would force me to play.  It scared me, frankly.

When I look back at my personal history and connect the dots, almost everything scared me.  I was skeptical of anything and everything.  I know that my negative and fearful attitude created the conditions for cancer to thrive in my body, in my second chakra, in the place of: life, beginnings, relationships, money, stepping out into the world with others.  Getting cancer was the trigger that showed me that I had to shift out of my negative place of being yet I had no idea how to do so.  One of my biggest awakenings occurred when I realized that the negative and fearful way I felt about having a conventional life — marriage, kids, family — translated to other areas of my life.  Negative and fearful was the thread that ran through most of my thoughts.  Skepticism lay like a smoky haze at the root of my being.

It’s more than just a mellowing with age that has happened here.  My faith in myself grew with the planting of my dreams.  With every step toward a dream I noticed those voices got louder and stronger NOT in my favor.  For many years I put off getting my training in the healing arts, “now is not the time, your not ready,” said the skeptical voice. When we found the ranch, the first thought that popped into my head was, “don’t get any big ideas here that you can’t fulfill.”  It was a constant negative influx of words, thoughts, and feelings feeding my brain like a drug dealer pushing crack.

“WOW!” I realized.  That skepticism and negativity doesn’t only show up in my relationships with others, it’s that way with me too!”  What an eye opener.  That’s when I stopped identifying with them.  “What a relief” I thought. “That’s not me.  Those are only feelings that I’m identifying with — as me.”

Now I can begin to mellow.  I’m no longer frozen in paralysis when the dragons of fear and skepticism show up for a fight.  I’m getting better at noticing what triggers the fears that come up around how I’m running my business and how I’m caring for my family as a wife and a mother.  I’m learning how to manage them rather than feed them.  My identification with my conventional rolls no longer scare me, I welcome them with open arms. My femininity no longer carries the trappings of the past, it expands with the beginning of each new day.

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